Method to the Madness

Mom was away overnight last night on a business trip - so I'm the responsible adult in the house.  Trying to encourage my Dad to get ready for bed last night, I say after a few kind subtle attempts:

"Dad... don't sleep in your jeans that's gross.  You're a grown man."  Feeling bad, I lean close and say, "Daddy -- you really should get ready for bed now."  He replies eyes squeezed tight..."please leave please, please don't make me hit you, I don't want to hit you, please don't make me hit you."

Me: "well I appreciate that I don't want you to hit me either, I'll leave. But you need to go to bed the right way."

So I left, and no doubt he ended up properly under the covers somehow because he won't get out of them this morning.  My inner therapist says go wake him up, get him on a schedule, get him in the shower, make coffee, have breakfast, take meds, hit the road to CNS.  But with the escalating behavior - I have no desire to push it - because I'm at my last nerve as well, and I just might hit back hard.  I'm busting at the seems in frustration.  I really do want to punch him.  I really do.  I want to hit him so hard in hopes it will literally knock some sense into him and right what's wrong in his brain.  And then say to him in his shocked moment of clarity, "YOU ARE MY DAD!  GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, STOP WHINING, AND STOP BEING A LAZY-ASS VICTIM!  YOU CAN DO THIS!"  But we know that approach won't work.    I have to keep my distance and I have to keep my calm.  Even though I feel like a mad-hot tea kettle is screeching inside me.  

So it's 9:22am now.  What to do what to do.  I walked up there twice, called Melvin, the dogs barked, etc etc.  Dad laid in bed - he moaned a few times.  I have a feeling he'll get out soon and get hungry and come adventuring down.  And once he's down - I'll crush an attivan onto an english muffin and sneak it in him.  Then he'll calm down and hopefully I can get him out the door and into CNS's.  Then he's their problem.  It's sort of like ding dong ditch -- we make it up the elevator, open the door, push him inside and bolt.  It's awful.  My poor Daddy.  

Well Dad, it's up to you today.  I'm not going to push you.  You win.