I sometimes feel like I'm locked on a perpetual, emotional roller coaster -- and I can't catch a break and get off. This afternoon, and for the past few days, I've felt moments of happy reality I haven't experienced since before my Dad's "incident." And then suddenly I'm jolted out of my happy place and into a horrible state of uneasiness. The particular event this evening is too disturbing to blog about publicly, and it shocks me back into how hideous this life can be now. Which is made even more obvious when paired next to the joys of simple, everyday, 25-year-old acts, like flirting and escaping in the company of my peers. I wish my roller coaster could drop me off in a little cave to curl up and escape. And then maybe in that cave there's a little time machine that can transport me back to before -- or just out of the now. Maybe that's what I was attempting to produce when after dinner this evening (Chinese delivery that Dad accomplished at ordering over the phone and paying with credit card) I madly tore through each of the four fortune cookies, eating the white chocolate part and discarding the plain corners, in search of some guidance via that tiny piece of folded paper. And apparently, in succession, fortune cookie say:
#1 "You have a reputation for being straight-forward and honest." really? hmm... well here's some straight-forward truthfulness for you cookie: That's not really a "fortune!" that's more like a comment. I don't want Comment Cookies. I have enough room for comments and opinions on how I lead my life -- you even have the opportunity to right here on the internet. So thanks but no thanks, cookie.
#2 "Happy events will take place shortly in your home." Hah - from your mouth to God's ears!
#3 "Soon you will receive pleasant news." ...still waiting... but that's more like it, Cookie - keep the fortunes coming.
#4 "Good things come to those who wait. Be patient." Could we be more specific please? You obviously don't know who you're dealing with here. Or was that the "pleasant news" from your cookie cousin above?
Fortune cookies may very well be bullshit, but I wouldn't mind a couple happy events or some pleasant news in this house at all. So I'll continue to be patient.
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