Transitioning

Dad replaced the hardwood floors in our house with eggshells.  And if we step on one he gets reeeeeal angry.  More unfortunately, they are invisible and extremely sporadic.  So there's no way to walk around them -- you never know when one's going to crack.  When it happens you just get out of the way, and you can't take it personally.  

Dad's so traumatized he doesn't know who to trust.  And attempting to immerse him back into the clinic routine was a nice idea... but think about it, why on earth would it be easy?  Dad's learned now that when he puts himself in the trust of others he ends up in scary places like bullshit Bakersfield.  So today, after my mom seemed to step on about 2 dozen eggshells, and the two "helpers" from CNS were pretty much picking them up and throwing them at Dad as far as he could tell, the wrath incurred, and Dad found trust in me.  So I calmly took him out for some pancakes -- which was slightly terrifying at times and filled with tears and panic on his part.  But I calmly looked at the LA Times and sipped my coffee, and Dad would settle back down a bit.  I attempted to get on the 134 and head to the clinic... but after a fierce threatening to open the door mid-drive, my gut told me to just head home.  Today is not the day for challenges.  There's been no period of adjustment for him, everyday is a new day of realizing he's living at home again - HIS home - and he deserves some time to gain a little control.

After a nap and a stroll with the doggies, Dad took us to In-N-Out.  He asked me to drive, articulating, "I just don't feel up for it." (note: obviously, I or my mom ALWAYS drive, but for him to articulate that rather than just go with the flow is pretty insightful).  At in-n-out we ordered at the counter, and Dad paid.  He instructed me to sit outside and hold the table while he waited for our number to be called.  I did just that.  It was a really nice lunch -- worlds different from our pancakes a mere 3 hours before.  And CNS may think I took a risk, I probably did, but I know Dad well enough that he won't have an erratic eggshell break-out if he feels in charge and independent enough.  I give him space, and I let him know I trust him - and he can trust me.  

I'm not your most avid astrology follower -- and I didn't check my horoscope til just now, but eerily it states...

GEMINI:  WHEN YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO IT, YOU CAN CHANGE SOMEONE ELSE'S MIND.  OBSERVE AND STRATEGIZE.  IT'S NOT THE TIME TO WAGE YOUR ATTACK.  THERE IS A GENTLE WAY TO DO THIS, AND YOU WILL FIGURE IT OUT.