missing

Okay fine, I don't know why I tried to cop out from writing my true feelings by covering it with a Melvin story. I missed my Dad tonight. I miss him everyday - but there are those particular days where I see him more, I mean I see who he was before this, and I miss that Dad soooooooo much. oh it hurts. Tonight I saw it when I was trying to make us dinner. And I wasn't a bit hungry, but I didn't want him to eat alone, and I wanted him to eat a lot of fat because he's a freakin' twig, so I was in this annoying predicament. And I kept asking him what he wanted to make and then he'd get frustrated after staring at items in the freezer and have an inkling about what to do with them but then not the thought to follow through and then he'd slam the freezer door and walk back to the living room. This happened about 3 times until I took the initiative to just fucking cook us something. So I went for Italian sausages and Kraft mac 'n cheese. A daughter/daddy favorite from the past when Mom happened to be out for dinner. although tonight I enhanced it with grilled onions on a bun. I guess I shouldn't have expected much - but Dad sat there at first, not thrilled or excited by my dinner, (nothing compared to mushroom night), very apathetic, and bitchy. I was so disheartened. I wanted him to get excited about it, and devour it, and then devour mine so I wouldn't eat it and he'd get twice the calories because he's seriously sororiety-girl-skinny, weighing in at 166 pounds!!!! And I look at him and I just, ahhhh I miss my big, jolly, energetic, enthusiastic, wonderful, happy, Daddy. I miss him.
skinny people are bitches.